Online or by mail: Patrick Thomas White Committee • 81 Hawthorne St. • Lenox, MA 01240

Before... and after!

Lessons from Lymphoma

So in 2009 I was diagnosed with a Lymphoma of the brain. It then metastasized to my heart. I had the Wizard of Oz of cancer: brain, heart and well, a big need to find some courage.

Cancer sucks. I remember the tough days, the two months in intensive care trying to survive the flu. And the walker. I had lost so much weight, I couldn't stand up without it.

These aren't the memories I choose to dwell upon. What I remember is the support of my family and friends. The kindness of the EMTs when I fell in my apartment and hit my head. The crazy trip in an ambulance from Stockbridge to Mass. General in Boston, and giving the driver directions on Storrow Drive to find the exit, while strapped into a guerney and staring at the ceiling.

They told me if they didn't get it all, I'd be dead in a year. They told me, not the first time, to get my affairs in order. That's doctor code for you may well die from this.

I didn't. They did get it all.

Sometimes you get better but not entirely. I have permanent damage to my left eye from the tumor's impact on my trigeminal nerve. For the same reason, the entire left side of my face droops a little.

Who cares. I survived. So when I was taking some head shots and my photographer friend asked me if I was self-conscious about my eye. I laughed and said no. It's the visual equivalent of the old cliche, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. In my case, it made me fearless. It also makes for good jokes. I've got my [one] eye on you! My favorite is when someone who isn't a fan compared me to Voldemort. I retorted, don't you think more like Sauron? (It's a one-eye joke in case you aren't a fan of Harry Potter or Tolkien.)

Sometimes it seems we live in a society now driven by vanity. The constant bombardment with beauty and perfection. The new crop of influencers. Let's face it. Perfection is unattainable. We look how we look. For me, sure I looked better before, you know, this happened. But then again I was younger so of course I looked better.

I have known a lot of folks who died young, who never had the gift of experiencing middle age, let alone getting older. So I suggest to you, age is a gift. Find joy and purpose in your older years. You are one of the lucky ones.